Screw Santa Fe
by Darth Bongo
Summary: Three kids in Scarsdale decide that New York City beats Santa Fe by a long shot. Featuring young Mark, Roger, and the drama queen.


I wasn't going to do this in script format, but that seem like the best way to show the song so I did everything this way to keep it all the same. The CAPITAL LETTERS are the lyrics being sung or spoken in a rhymth. By the way, I know it is incredible obvious, but I don't own Rent. I don't even own the laptop I'm typing this on! And, good god, laptops burn!

* * *

Mark: Hi, I'm Mark.

Roger: Name's Roger.

Maureen: Call me Maureen, defender of little people and protestor of injustices!

Roger: Okay…

Mark: You're 13. How do you protest anything?

Maureen: Well…I don't.

Roger: Ha!

Maureen: But I'm planning some great protests! With singers and dancers and everything!

Roger: So your plan is to dazzle people into destroying 'injustice'?

Maureen: Oh, shut up.

Mark: So, you just moved here?

Maureen: What tipped you off, the moving van or the fact that this is the first time we've ever met? I mean, could you not waste time stating the obvious?

Mark: Sorry…

Maureen: Just kidding. I just wanted to see how easy it was to tease you. That kind of info could be useful later in life. But anyway, I just came here from Trenton.

Mark: Welcome to Scarsdale.

Roger: Get the fuck out.

Maureen: Trust me, I figured that out after the fifth neighbor came over to welcome us to the neighborhood.

Mark: This place is okay…

Roger: But way too damn friendly. I got no good inspiration for songs.

Maureen: You write songs?

Roger: And sing them.

Maureen: Wow…I can't sing to save my life.

Mark: I'm sure you sing great.

Maureen: Thanks, Pookie!

Roger: Pookie?

Maureen: Doesn't he look like a pookie?

Roger: If you squint…

Mark: Anyway, Maureen, your family's moving into a mansion, right?

Maureen: It's a bit smaller than that…

Roger: Not by much.

Mark: Is it just you and your parents moving in or do you got siblings? I mean, damn! It seems like you have to have at least five brothers and sisters to justify moving into a house that big!

Maureen: My dad always buys big houses every time we move.

Roger: Is he compensating for something?

Maureen: Shut up. Why do I keep having to tell you that! He likes buying big things for us, even if we really don't need it, because he says he wants us to have the room to spread out. I think it lowers the possibility that he might actually see us.

Mark: Sorry I asked…

Maureen: Never mind. But, I do have a sister and three younger brothers. Sis moved to Santa Fe a while back.

Roger: Nice and warm down there.

Mark: Unlike up here.

Maureen: I guess. Still, I don't think I'm going to Santa Fe when I grow up. I'm heading to New York City!

Mark: Me too.

Roger: Been planning on going there since I was four.

Mark: The best city ever.

Maureen: Of course! After all, it is New York City!

Mark: UH HUH

Maureen: THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

Roger: TELL ME ABOUT IT

Maureen: TIMES THERE ARE BAD, BUT THEY CAN ONLY GET BETTER

Mark: I HEAR YOU

Maureen: IT'S A COMFORT TO KNOW,

WHEN YOU'RE SINGING THE HIT THE ROAD BLUES,

THAT NO MATTER WHERE YOU COME FROM,

NEW YORK WILL BE A PLEASURE CRUISE

Mark: NOW YOU'RE TALKING!

WELL, I'M SICK OF TOO MANY DAMN MATH PROBLEMS.

AND I'M TIRED OF WRITNG PAPERS, THAT I KNOW.

I FILM DAY AND NIGHT, BUT MY MOVIES, WELL THEY SUCK.

ALL MY FAMILY'S TERRIBLE SO…

LET'S BUY OURSELVES A LOFT IN NEW YORK CITY.

CREATIVE NEW YORK CITY WOULD BE NICE.

LET'S BUY OURSELVES A LOFT IN NEW YORK CITY.

WE'LL WORK ON ART SURE TO ENTICE

OH…

All: OH…

Maureen: YOU FILM?

Mark: I FILM.

MOSTLY DOCUMENTARYS.

BUT MY PARENTS JUST WANT ME TO FILM THEIR PARTIES

Maureen: PARENTS

All: PARENTS!

Roger: YOU'RE AN OUTSPOKEN GIRL.

YOU CAN GIVE ACTING A WHIRL.

OR YOU CAN PROTEST EVERYTHING BAD!

I CAN WRITE MY ONE GREAT SONG.

MARK CAN FILM ALL DAY LONG.

AND WE CAN WORK UNTIL WE DRIVE OURSELVES MAD.

Maureen and Mark: SOUNDS GREAT!

Roger: LET'S BUY OURSELVES A LOFT IN NEW YORK CITY.

WE'LL FREE OURSELVES FROM FAMILY CHAINS.

Maureen and Mark: CHAINS, CHAINS, CHAINS

Roger: LET'S BUY OURSELVES A LOFT IN NEW YORK CITY

AND WE'LL PUT TO WORK OUR HEARTS AND OUR BRAINS

Maureen and Mark: HEARTS AND BRAINS

All: WE'LL PACK UP ALL OUR JUNK AND RUN SO FAR AWAY,

TO WHERE WE CAN FILM AND SING AND YELL.

LET'S BUY OURSELVES A LOFT IN NEW YORK CITY.

FORGET THIS COLD SUBURBAN HELL.

Maureen: Shit! I was supposed to be home 15 minutes ago! Gotta go! Bye!

Roger: See ya.

Mark: Talk to you soon.

Roger: Do you really think we'll ever talk to her again?

Mark: No way.

Mark and Roger: OH…

Roger: DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO NEW YORK CITY?

Mark: TALL BUILDINGS, CROWDED STREETS

Mark and Roger: YEAH…

* * *

Okay, this is pretty much the first time I reworded a song. Tell how it was or you'll wake up in the middle of the night singing every song you learned in kindergarden. Basically, review or pay. 3 hours of school left! YES! I CAN TASTE SWEET FREEDOM! 


End file.
